dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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