OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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