Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
