About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
