I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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