someone threw a dead crab at me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We named our party play list daddy issues
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
