So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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