Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
