just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
