it was like his penis was on wheels.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
