Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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