all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
