Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
