I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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