i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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