he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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