well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
