We're like a lot better than the average bears
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
