Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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