she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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