yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
