Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
