my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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