If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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