He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
