he wants to bone in the snuggie
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
