So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
