please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
