Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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