Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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