if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
