Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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