I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
