No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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