My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
