hell yes lets make some ravioli
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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