I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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