You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
