She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
