going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
