dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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