I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Nicole vs. Life
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
