He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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