found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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