omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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