My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's blow job season.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
