I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
