Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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