How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
