Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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