i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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