You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize