Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
