Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize