So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
