You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
