Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
