Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
