2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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