Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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