I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
